just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize