Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
