haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
