Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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