Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
