I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
