I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
