I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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