I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
