Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
