I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
