Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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