Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
