my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize