it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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