I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
