you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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