he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
