I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
