I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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