i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
