last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
