a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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