ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize