so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
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yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize