google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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