Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize