Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Porn is love you can see.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
