I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
