Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
