woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i came on her dog
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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