Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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