What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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