Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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