I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
