I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
