Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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