Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
