Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
