Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
