This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
