We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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