He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dicks are not precious.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
