i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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