gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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