God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
