we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
