Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
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