Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
