He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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