You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
