i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
