um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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