she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
