Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
