She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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