the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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