She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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