i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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