I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
